A bizzare & twisted discovery...

As I woke up, I began my morning routine, which consists of the following:
Coffee
Electric-cig
Shower
Bagel with cream cheese
E-mail
  However, while going through the endless garbage that overflows my e-mail account(s), I came across an advertisement for a  website called eBabe, where they auction off immaculate men to the highest bidder. Since I didn't have work that day, I decided to see what exactly eBabe had to offer. As I looked at the eBabe finalists of the week, I immediately found myself in a coma-like trance. Was it?… No!... It couldn't be!...
  After I shook myself back into reality the truth began to set in. It was Richard Madison... being auctioned off on eBabe! I couldn't believe what I stumbled upon. What was Richard doing on a site like eBabe? Was he lonely? Did he think this was a smart idea? What was awful strange about this whole eBabe scandal was the fact that the picture Richard put up for the site was from when he was seventeen. Something didn’t quite add up right. Did Richard not have another decent picture of him since he was in high school? Or was this a hoax? Sadly I rushed to check my bank account, only finding a mere fifty dollars in it. How was I supposed to beat the current bid of $78,234.86 to have Richard back in my life?
 As of the moment, I'm currently attempting to find out who actually runs eBabe, along with some information they might have on Richard Madison and this startling portrayal of him on their site. I'll keep you all updated on my progress and please contact me if you have ANY information at all concerning Richard Madison and his whereabouts.